My Friendship Troubles Update
Weee! At last, I was able to talk to two of my closest friends, Tiffany and Raymond M.. Conflicts sure do bring friends closer if we’ll only approach it in a way that would please God. It became clear that we just misinterpreted each other. I was thinking about what I said that they should remain a true friend even to those who they think as fake friends, but I suddenly realized that it isn’t a reason to stop being faithful even though it is tiresome of always being the one doing that. And.. it’s all just misinterpretations anyway. Aside from the lessons I learned from that test/trouble, something good also happend when I wasn’t with them. I got closer to other friends 
yey! Hello there 18 souls etc
I also wanna post this. This is the advice I got from christianster.com:
You have to accept first the fact that there is still imperfections among the members of the churches. Simply because our churches are composed of members with different walks of life. For instance, diversities of culture, circumstances in life, levels of lifestyle and commitment, interests and attitudes.
Now, how are you going to respond when you’re in this kind of community? Set your mind and heart on Christ alone because He’s the author and the finisher of our faith. In church, we’re not worshipping people nor serving them ,we’re worshipping and serving God. You can be stumble if you focus on the imperfections of the church members. Even if you transfer to all church affiliations, you’ll never see perfect members. Christ wants us to please and follow him.
I appreciate your sincerity in sharing us your problems. Well, it’s normal to admire. But not to the point that you give in to obsession. This is idolatry and sometimes will lead to lust.
With regards to your relationship with friends… Just be faithful even if you’re friends will be unfaithful to you sometimes. Always show you’re sincerity and kindness to your friends. In other words, be friends to everyone and always be true to your friendship with them.
As a Christian, you can be a blessing and a light bringer unto your friends. Just show them the Christ who live in you. Don’t worry regardless of how they would treat you. The thing that matter most is not how they regard you but how you regard them.
Seek to please Christ rather than to please your friends. God can use you mightily even at the toughest times of your life. For in our brokenness sometimes His light shines in our lives.
You may have misunderstanding with your friends sometimes but never ever let bitterness dwell in your life. Embrace ways that can help you grow up in your relationship with Jesus Christ and with your friends.
God bless…:)
->Nice♥
It’s NOW always me! I did my part already..Will you realize now?
I did my best to reach you out, but it seems all you think is yourself. If you and he isn’t fine, yeah you notice..notice me. But, even if you say you don’t really like him, those words show no proof in reality. Now…I will slowly fade away. I did my part. Yes I did. You’re the one who cause people to be like that. You say we’re not true friends.. but it doesn’t matter. Think if you are a true friend now, than thinking of us. If people are fake friends to you, well, what about you? Are you true to them? …Learn to think of others more than yourself. Now, I’m slowly fading away…as you wish. BTW read the book of Romans, specifically the one I posted here in my blog.. And as for me, just expressing this here is a mistake already, is it? But this is my blog, and I don’t really post this for the purpose of being read. I just wanna express. Take Care my dearest friend. I hope you’ll realize this one thing I learned painfully: Criticism and gossip is part of human nature especially for people who aren’t that intimate with God. So, if they are thinking malicious things..don’t criticize or look down on them…but instead act in a way they won’t criticize/gossip. Coz all of those..is just a result of what they see. And..it’s all ok, I’m really glad your friendship is drawing you both closer to God..just protect you emotional and physical purity. See yah♥
Unconscious Waterloo
There’s something buried inside me. I know my mind placed it into the unconscious part of my brain for the better. Is it really for the better? I don’t think so anymore, because the more I escape from this..the more it’ll be harder. I know I must face it. I must really do. But, I already did it right? So, what’s the problem? Why is it that there is a still glimpse of the problem when I can already handle this through God’s grace and from the lessons I’ve learned from my past. Why then? Maybe all these times the devil is still watching me, waiting to see a hole in which he can attack me! Oh Geez, I won’t let my self fall for his traps anymore! I know you don’t know it’s YOU! Because I kept pretending, kept giving and understanding. Will you know it’s you? Nope. I won’t let it happen again anymore. I’m a new creation in Christ now. And I must keep guard on this precious pearl of purity(physically and emotionally) as a female created for His glory.
Grey Pondering
The first significant thing that happened today is both happy and sad for me. A similar face like rejection creeped through me, I knew it was a feeling so familiar to my heart. But in spite of that, something good also happened. It went like this: During our first subject, Religion, Sister Alu told us to hold hands with our classmates and form a big circle. I happen to be beside Almond so it was his hand that I held, then we prayed. Sadly, after that, Sister told us to approach our best friend-only one best friend. Well of course, Tiffany and Almond is closer to each other than to me, so I just let them pair w/ each other. And as for me? I don’t know. They both asked me who’s my best friend, but I gave no answer. I guess I am still so uncertain, uncertain to say things because maybe they don’t like me anymore..maybe. Am I being too cynical? I just stayed there with a sense of a negative feeling until I saw my friend whose name is also Raymond V.S.(the same with Almond coz that is what I call the other Raymond M.). I just approached him and asked him to be my partner, not that we are best friends indeed. I want him to be my best friend too(in that school-Glaisa A. Labra is my bessie from JR), but I don’t wanna make decisions that I’m not sure of if I could back up with actions. I want to take cautions already. I don’t want to make a mistake of choosing a best friend but won’t be able to show it in actions. It just happens by itself anyways..who knows. I can be intimate to anyone anyways, I just need to enjoy spending quality time with them, and before we realize it..we’re closer already! Yey!
That is the sad side of that significant thing, the second side is happy. That’s the time when I finally sat with Raymond Val Sagucio. This time Sis Alu explained that some of us felt rejected because of what happened similar to mine. She said that some of us were just forced to choose one because our real best friend chose other person etc. Then, she asked us to do a sharing with the person we are with. Val and I just sat there, knowing we aren’t really best friends(close friends though) until he asked me why I chose him, why I chose him as a friend. I told him to share first so he did, even though he isn’t good at sharing according to him. What he said is really nice.
*leans my head at the laptop “uggh I’m very sleepy, yet I couldn’t fall asleep especially with this desire of expressing myself here”*
The following hours were time spent with anxiety and patience. I spent my recess with Tiff and Mond, but I went with Inah during tha lunch. And with some from the science group after class.
BTW I am very disppointed of our new sitting arrangement for this quarter. Almost ALL of the science group were placed near to each other, while I was far from them! I amost chose 18 but I changed the folded paper I took, so I got 1-unlucky. Uggh what an unfortunate me! Anyways I still wanna thank God for the priviledge of having more opportunity to rely on Him to get a good grade than on my friends from the sci. grp.
My Vicious Circle
Ever since I knew how intense the pain could be in losing you, my life became a vicious circle of depression and insomnia. Lack of sleep worsens my depression, vice versa. In spite of the countless teardrops, I know I’m just deceived. Feeling forlorn is just a feeling, for a child of God is never unloved!
-> How I like how these poetic words came to my mind! Sadly, I’m a bit guilty. If I really believe what I said about our/my dear God, then why am I still doing my lamentation here? I want to express myself. Can anyone tell me if this is bad? I remember kuya Aaron again. If we are ok, I bet he’ll be the first one to answer that question of mine. ♥I just miss him..I miss Kuya Aaron♥
Update about my life:
Last last night, the night before our first day of classes after the sembreak, I slept at 3am. I just spent the whole night listening to the Secondhand Serenade Songs, the songs I used to listen to during the times I was painfully intimate with my special someone. As what I expected, it brought vivid memories to my mind. Well, it’s seems so foolish of me to listen to something that I know would trigger my depression. But I did it for the sake of finally being able to pour my tears and release my remorse. I just wanted the tears to fall already. People who keeps so much pain in their heart knows the relief of having your hurts poured out through crying. Ahaha, I just cried. I cried a lot. I cried until I was able to fall asleep.
It is our first day of periodical examination today. I slept late again yesterday because it was night already when I started reviewing. The exams we took awhile ago are just fine. I guess I am too irritated right now to tell my observations of the exam in detail. I am just glad the first day of examination is finished already. Now, what I have to think for now is tomorrow’s examinations ^_^ To admit it, I am not really in the mood to review. Sigh. I don’t understand why I’m so ironic. I only gain interest when it’s the last minute already.
BTW, tomorrow is my friend, Mond Mond’s 16th birthday. I have saved money to buy him a gift, however, it is still not enough and I couldn’t have a chance to go to the mall or to the Philippine Christian Bookstore. I hope it’s still good if I’ll just give it on Monday instead of giving it tomorrow.
Don’t Criticize Each Other(The Living Bible)
Romans 14:1-23(TLB)
Give a warm welcome to any brother who wants to join you, even though his faith is weak. Don’t criticize him for having different ideas from yours about what is right and wrong. For instance, don’t argue with him about whether or not to eat meat that has been offered to idols. You may believe that there is no harm in this, but the faith of others is weaker; they think it is wrong, and will go without any meet at all and eat vegetables rather than eat that kind of meat. Those who think it is all right to eat such meat must not look down on those who won’t. And if you are one of those who won’t, don’t find fault with those who do. For God has accepted them to be his children. They are God’s servants, not yours. They are responsible to him, not you. Let him tell them whether they are right or wrong. And God is able to make them do as they should.
Some think that Christians should observe the jewish holidays as special days to worship God, but others say it is wrong and foolish to go to all that trouble, for every day alike belongs to God. On questions of this kind everyone must decide for himself. If you have special days for worshiping the Lord, you are trying to honor him; you are doing a good thing. So is the person who eats meat that has been offered to idols; he is thankful to the Lord for it; he is doing right. And the person who won’t touch such meat, he, too, is anxious to please the Lord, and is thankful. We are not our own bosses to live or die as we ourselves might choose. Living or dying we follow the Lord. Either way we are his. Christ died and rose again for this very purpose, so that he can be our Lord both while we live and when we die.
You have no right to criticize your brother or look down on him. Remember, each of us will stand personally before the Judgmenet Seat of God. For it is written, “As I live,” says the Lord, “every knee shall bow to me and every tongue confess to God.” Yes, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
So don’t criticize each other any more. Try instead to live in such a way that you will never make your brother stumble by letting him see you doing something he thinks is wrong.
As for myself, I am perfectly sure on the authority of the Lord Jesus that there is really nothing wrong with eating meat that is offered to idols. But if someone believes it is wrong, then he shouldn’t do it because for him it is wrong. And if your brother is bothered by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you go ahead and eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. Don’t do anything that will cause criticism against yourself even though you know that what you do is right.
For, after all, the important thing for us as Christians is not what we eat or drink but stiring up goodness and peace and joy from the Holy Spirit. If you let Christ be Lord in these affairs, God will be glad; and so will others. In this way aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.
Don’t undo the work of God for a chunk of meat. Remember, there is nothing wrong with the meat, but it is wrong if it makes another stumble. The right thing to do is to quit eating meat or drinking wine or doing anything else that offends your brother or makes him sin. You may know that there is nothing wrong with what you do, even from God’s point of view, but keep it to yourself; don’t flaunt your faith in front of others who might be hurt by it. In this situation, happy is the man who does not sin by doing what he knows is right. But anyone who believes something he wants to do is wrong shouldn’t do it. He sins if he does, for he thinks it is wrong, and so for him it is wrong. Anything that is done apart from what he feels is right is sin.
A Secret Labyrinth II
I can feel this creature, this distorted creature. This distorted creature is following me. It’s crawling to my head, to my heart, to my soul. I can feel my whole body shake.. I can feel the terror inside me. It is something I wanna get rid of me, but this creature never allowed me to.
In this secret labyrinth of mine, I kept on walking. I kept walking towards the exit, but the strings that entangles me just get tighter and tighter the more I move. The more I move, the more I suffocate.
*Tired*
A Secret Labyrinth I
A Secret Labyrinth. That’s what I call this. That’s what I call this isolated world of intense emotions that I try so hard to constrict. But, there are times I feel as if this secret labyirinth of mine is about to explode.
A Girl lost in her own labyrinth:
She tries to get out. But the more she tries, the more she gets hurt. She gets hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. She gets hurt even more because it is much painful for her to know that she failed again even though she already gave her very best. And sadly, in times she already made it near to the exit, she just caughts the attention of the people outside her labyrinth, outside her isolated world. Then, what happens? What happens when they see her is they try to help. But the more they help, the more she gets attached to them..And when she is totally attached, when she gets more lost, she brings destruction not just to herself but also to them. To them. Including him. To him, to her most beloved.
Asan na ba kayo, mga tunay na pilipino?
Sa pinakailaliman ng aking puso
Damdamin ko’y lubusang nagdurugo
Nasasaktan para sa bayan ko
Bayan ko! Nasan na’ng tunay na pilipino?
Onting Sermon:
Mahal mo ba ang ating bansa?
Kung mahal mo ito,
bakit di nakikita sa mga gawi mo?
Kung mahal mo bansa mo
dapat mahal mo rin paligid mo.
Para sa mga kamag-aral ko:
Kung mahal niyo bansa niyo,
mahalin nyo ang paligid nyo.
Pero bakit kahit kendi wrappers..
Hindi manlang mapulot!
Sa mga maraming nakakakita
Iilan lang pumupulot!
Sa mga nagtapon niyan,
mahirap bang ibulsa sariling kalat?
Bakit ba kase kailangang itapon kung saan saan?
So-called Twins?
I posted this picture because these twins from the anime EF Tale of Memories really remind me of me and Tiffany. Our hairstyle is the same, that’s why people jokingly label us as twins. Aha! I really hope that I would have the chance to have a picture with her..but I’m too shy to ask. Haha! I don’t understand why. All I can say is I’m really moody..So it depends on my mood. Hope I’ll be on my hyper mode again..so I won’t get shy ahaha! *thinking* What’s the big deal anyway? Hmm, I just thought of it. Tiffany Ellaine Garcia, btw, is my churchmate, so I gotta take care of her and go with her more than others..Christian sis first!
More about us: She caught my attention on the first day of classes of this school year. Because our class was very noisy, she stood in front and admonished our classmates. Her words caught my attention even more..because the words she used was obviously inspired by bryorg, our organization for the Philippines and for God. During our recess at the same day, I approached her and asked her if she knew the ‘Brown Raise Youth Org’. Then, we knew that we are org-mates and churchmates as well! Reminiscing about that really makes me glad. Haha! Xo Xo So Nice!
