My Vicious Circle
Ever since I knew how intense the pain could be in losing you, my life became a vicious circle of depression and insomnia. Lack of sleep worsens my depression, vice versa. In spite of the countless teardrops, I know I’m just deceived. Feeling forlorn is just a feeling, for a child of God is never unloved!
-> How I like how these poetic words came to my mind! Sadly, I’m a bit guilty. If I really believe what I said about our/my dear God, then why am I still doing my lamentation here? I want to express myself. Can anyone tell me if this is bad? I remember kuya Aaron again. If we are ok, I bet he’ll be the first one to answer that question of mine. ♥I just miss him..I miss Kuya Aaron♥
Update about my life:
Last last night, the night before our first day of classes after the sembreak, I slept at 3am. I just spent the whole night listening to the Secondhand Serenade Songs, the songs I used to listen to during the times I was painfully intimate with my special someone. As what I expected, it brought vivid memories to my mind. Well, it’s seems so foolish of me to listen to something that I know would trigger my depression. But I did it for the sake of finally being able to pour my tears and release my remorse. I just wanted the tears to fall already. People who keeps so much pain in their heart knows the relief of having your hurts poured out through crying. Ahaha, I just cried. I cried a lot. I cried until I was able to fall asleep.
It is our first day of periodical examination today. I slept late again yesterday because it was night already when I started reviewing. The exams we took awhile ago are just fine. I guess I am too irritated right now to tell my observations of the exam in detail. I am just glad the first day of examination is finished already. Now, what I have to think for now is tomorrow’s examinations ^_^ To admit it, I am not really in the mood to review. Sigh. I don’t understand why I’m so ironic. I only gain interest when it’s the last minute already.
BTW, tomorrow is my friend, Mond Mond’s 16th birthday. I have saved money to buy him a gift, however, it is still not enough and I couldn’t have a chance to go to the mall or to the Philippine Christian Bookstore. I hope it’s still good if I’ll just give it on Monday instead of giving it tomorrow.
